"If I could give you just one gift ever for the rest of your life it would be this. Confidence. It would be the gift of confidence. Either that or a scented candle."

"Whatever else an American believes or disbelieves about himself, he is absolutely sure he has a sense of humor."

"If women understood and exercised their power they could remake the world."

"Experience is what allows us to repeat our mistakes, only with more finesse!"

"Absence extinguishes small passions and increases great ones, as the wind blows out a candle, and blows in a fire."

"My empty waterdish mocks me."

"Women! Ya can't live with 'em and ya can't get 'em to wear skimpy little Nazi outfits."

"When I was a child, my mom told me: 'If you want to be a soldier, you'll become a general. If you want to be a monk, you'll become pope' I wanted to be a painter, and I became Picasso."

"To the generous mind the heaviest debt is that of gratitude, when it is not in our power to repay it."

"A happy childhood can't be cured. Mine'll hang around my neck like a rainbow, that's all, instead of a noose."

"Every time you are not practicing someone else is."

"The wise determine from the gravity of the case; the irritable, from sensibility to oppression; the high minded, from disdain and indignation at abusive power in unworthy hands."