"Seventy percent of success in life is showing up."

"Whosoever shall not fall by the sword or by famine, shall fall by pestilence so why bother shaving?"

"Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon."

"My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers."

"It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens."

"Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all."

"I keep six honest serving-men (They taught me all I knew,0); Their names are What and Why and When And How and Where and Who."

"I'm seventeen and I'm crazy. My uncle says the two always go together. When people ask your age, he said, always say seventeen and insane."

"For a thinking creature of high intellect there can be no pleasure separate from emotion. If you deny men emotion you deny them pleasure."

"You can't teach an old dogma new tricks."

"Never let the sense of past failure defeat your next step."

"I thought I had an appetite for destruction, but all I wanted was a club sandwich."