"Buying books would be a good thing if one could also buy the time to read them in: but as a rule the purchase of books is mistaken for the appropriation of their contents."

"In Hollywood, an equitable divorce settlement means each party getting fifty percent of publicity."

"If we have need of a strong will in order to do good, it is still more necessary for us in order not to do evil."

"Most religions do not make men better, only warier."

"Frustration is one of the greatest things in art; satisfaction is nothing."

"A wife and a promissory note are never lost (they will allways find you)"

"A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul."

"Nothing shows a man's character more than what he laughs at."

"When I was in England, I experimented with marijuana a time or two, and I didn't like it and didn't inhale and never tried it again."

"There is a time in every man's education when he arrives at the conviction that envy is ignorance; that imitation is suicide."

"Great necessities call forth great leaders."

"We all like stories that make us cry. It's so nice to feel sad when you've nothing in particular to feel sad about."